Me: I think I have a bad case of vocabuitis.
Doctor: What are some symptoms of ‘vocabuitis’?
Me: I don’t know. I didn’t bring my Thesaurus.
Quotes
the father: I have this rash on my hands. I hope it’s not cirrhosis.
the mother: I think you mean psoriasis, with a ‘p’. Cirrhosis is a liver disease.
the father: I thought they both started with an ‘s’.
the mother: Psoriasis has a silent ‘p’ and cirrhosis starts with a ‘c’. That’s the English language for you.
the son: English is stupid. – With a silent ‘p’!
Table Manners
the father: On the walk this morning, I spoke with our son about the ‘Birds and the Bees’.
the mother: Oh, how’d it go? Did you find it difficult to explain?
the father: No, not at all. Actually, he did most of the talking.
the mother: That’s good he can be open and honest with you.
the father: Sure is. Did you know that there are actually 23 different species of Mockingbirds? And over 1000 different species of bees!
The Talk
the grandpa: You finished already. Where did you put it all?
the cartoonist: I was hungry.
the grandpa: You shouldn’t eat so quickly.
the cartoonist: I have to eat fast, before I feel full.
Eat Fast
the publisher: Charles Schultz gave away original “Peanuts” comics as gifts. You could do that if you had the same ‘famousicity’.
the cartoonist: Hmm… What could I do if I had the same publisher?
